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Writer's pictureAmy Nelson

Experiential Titration: Overcoming Our Sexual Fears by Building Nervous System Capacity


Illustration of a woman sitting with her knees drawn to her chest, surrounded by abstract, colourful shapes. The image represents introspection, vulnerability, and the process of overcoming fears related to body image and sexual expression, which is relevant to the theme of overcoming sexual fears discussed in the post.
Artwork by Lisa Nelson

In a world that often equates vulnerability with weakness, stepping into the rawness of our fears can feel insurmountable. Yet, true bravery isn’t the absence of fear but the courage to face it and move through it. This concept lies at the heart of Experiential Titration, a process that draws from polyvagal theory to gradually expose individuals to their fears, building their nervous system's capacity to handle what once felt overwhelming.


What is Experiential Titration?

Experiential Titration is a therapeutic approach rooted in polyvagal theory, a framework that explains how our nervous system responds to safety and threat. It’s akin to exposure therapy but with a more nuanced understanding of our body's autonomic responses. By carefully and gradually exposing ourselves to the things that trigger fear—whether that’s being naked, engaging in sexual activity, exploring kinks, embracing nonmonogamy, or even something as intimate as masturbation—we allow our nervous system to adapt, stretch, and grow its capacity to handle these experiences without going into a state of shutdown or overwhelm.


Many of these expressions of self and connection have been wrapped in layers of shame, guilt, and societal judgment, often labelled as deviant or perverse. This work is about peeling back those layers, reigniting the fire within, and reclaiming our right to pleasure, joy, and bliss. It’s a process of stepping into your full self, embracing your life force, and experiencing the stillness and acceptance that comes from being unapologetically you.


The Role of the Loving Witness

As we embark on this journey of unshaming, it’s essential to have a loving witness—someone who sees us in our vulnerability, without judgment. David Bedrick's concept of the loving witness is integral to this process. It’s about being seen in our most authentic state, where our fears and desires are laid bare, and being met with compassion and understanding. This witnessing helps to heal the deep wounds of shame that have often been inflicted by society’s harsh gaze.


Bravery in the Face of Fear

It’s often said that bravery isn’t the absence of fear but the decision to face it head-on. This is especially true in Experiential Titration. The fears we face in this context are deeply personal and can be tied to our most intimate experiences. But by confronting these fears—by allowing ourselves to be seen, to be vulnerable, to experience pleasure without guilt—we reclaim our power.


Overcoming fear has profound effects on our bodies, minds, and spirits. Scientifically, when we successfully confront and overcome a fear, our brain rewards us with a flood of positive neurochemicals, reinforcing the behaviour and building resilience. This not only boosts our psychological well-being but also contributes to our overall development. The act of overcoming fear is, in itself, a journey toward self-actualisation. It’s about breaking free from the chains that have held us back, reclaiming our autonomy, and stepping into a more empowered version of ourselves.


The Liberation of Self-Actualisation

At its core, Experiential Titration is about liberation. It’s about reclaiming the parts of ourselves that have been buried under fear and shame and integrating them into our lives with acceptance and joy. This process is essential for individuation—becoming who we are meant to be—and for self-actualisation, the realisation of our fullest potential.

When we overcome our fears, we don’t just change our relationship with those fears; we change our relationship with ourselves. We learn to trust our bodies, to embrace our desires, and to step into the fullness of our being. This is the work of Experiential Titration—building nervous system capacity, overcoming fear, and stepping into the power and joy that is our birthright.


This journey is not just about achieving a specific goal; it’s about transforming our relationship with ourselves and with life itself. It’s about moving from a place of survival to a place of thriving, where we can experience the full spectrum of what it means to be alive—fear, pleasure, vulnerability, and all.


Book a session or a free exploratory call. Credit and thank you to Lisa Nelson for her powerful artwork.

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